tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7088534966296449771.post7097182068218051260..comments2023-04-13T02:23:59.692-07:00Comments on Amy WW: More reflectionAmy Do.http://www.blogger.com/profile/05745429570538561893noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7088534966296449771.post-59894728604932667002011-03-07T21:42:25.025-08:002011-03-07T21:42:25.025-08:00I have many of the same problems. My self-worth is...I have many of the same problems. My self-worth is positively subterranean, and I know that I come off as entirely unreachable most of the time. I can never accept a compliment, because while I am reasonably certain that the people giving them aren't lying, I mostly feel like "if they only knew" (presumably the "real" me), they wouldn't think the way they do about me.<br /><br />It goes on, but what you describe sounds very familiar to me, Amy.markdwhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04691843488065086257noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7088534966296449771.post-75391234132810232472011-03-07T21:09:21.554-08:002011-03-07T21:09:21.554-08:00I sometimes wonder if I am bipolar because it runs...I sometimes wonder if I am bipolar because it runs so deeply on both sides of my family. I feel like I sometimes display some of the symptoms and it freaks me out a little. I get what you mean when you say that "things I "know" about who I truly am deep down inside might be false." I feel like that frequently. <br /><br />I think that figuring out yourself is quite a tricky task. People have all sorts of biology and unconscious compulsions/feelings working against them. Mostly, I just try to accept who I am, even when I'm not exactly sure who "who" is. <br /><br /><br />I love you.Karieehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10407606395249523908noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7088534966296449771.post-76151564111377976202011-03-07T13:04:22.488-08:002011-03-07T13:04:22.488-08:00Deep stuff, Amy. I've done a lot of reflection...Deep stuff, Amy. I've done a lot of reflection myself, especially after getting my son diagnosed with Autism.I started looking at myself like maybe I have a little bit of it, and I think my dad has it also, and my step mom was distant and mean. I still haven't straightened out my feelings about who I am, but I think it makes me feel better to know that everyone's got problems plenty worse than my own and we're all trying to do the best with what was given to us.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7088534966296449771.post-30164883982089617202011-03-07T07:32:32.339-08:002011-03-07T07:32:32.339-08:00I think mine is more about relating to the world a...I think mine is more about relating to the world and its people. I always felt out of place.<br /><br />Actually I always knew that Dad was distant from me--he told me from the time we had been married for 1 month that, "I will never love anyone or anything." My response to that was that if I were good enough, he would. This was repeated to me frequently for 22 years. But, I felt that I had "made my bed" and now had to sleep in it. I believed that I would not be "allowed" to end my marriage.<br /><br />I know that autistic people frequently are able to relate better as adults, and I know that Asperger's is part of its spectrum, on the light side. I don't know what it means, but I have felt more able to relate to others in the last 20 years and more able to understand how people relate to each other--which was always a mystery to me.<br /><br />Maybe it's because I have finally matured. Maybe it's because I have finally found my own voice. Maybe it's because I didn't really have Asperger's, but was just beaten down emotionally. I don't know.<br /><br />I remember feeling desperate that my children would know that I loved them. In fact, my overarching desire is still that if they know anything it would be that I love them.<br /><br />That desire is more important than how they feel about me, about what I did or didn't do, or any other thing.<br /><br />I always felt that the reason my children didn't end up in jail, rehab or on the street as addicts is that they came to me as wonderful people. I still believe that.Linda Raehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15726979952150486994noreply@blogger.com