Lessons from B

I've been helping a lady in my ward clean out her house in anticipation of moving into some sort of retirement community. It's a sad job, and it's been made particularly difficult because one of the reasons she has to move is because she can no longer afford to live in her home.

We've sorted through a lifetime of possessions, files, memorabilia, clothing, inherited items, and other stuff and rubble.

Here's what I've learned from this adventure:

• Don't buy trendy things. Stick to quality wardrobe and household items that will last for years without going out of style.
• Be thoughtful about the things you purchase. Your children likely will not want your pile of "collectible" thingamajigs no matter how much you paid for them thirty years ago.
• You will never get back what you paid for anything so make sure you love it on its own merits and not for what you perceive it to be worth.
• Sentimental value will not increase the garage sale price.
• Don't postpone the cleaning out of drawers, closets, cabinets, attics, etc. A stressful, sorrowful situation combined with a sense of urgency will make these jobs more difficult, not less.
• Things are not a satisfying substitute for good relationships.
• The acquisition, maintenance, and care of things is a both a burden and a blessing. Make sure your things add value to your life, not just more work. If they only add work, out they go and the sooner the better.

And the number one lesson I've learned from this is this - the kind of life you live when you are old and tired and possibly sick will be directly affected by the planning and preparation you do today and every day until then. You will get old. You will need more money than you think at a time in your life when your ability to earn money may be drastically reduced. Instead of buying the latest gadgets and toys and the most fashionable clothing and the most exciting vacations, save and invest your cash. Manage your resources carefully. It's wonderful and fine and desirable to enjoy life along the way, but oh my, be wise.

home dec

Would you ever hire an interior designer to decorate your home?

A friend of mine gave me the January issue of Better Homes & Gardens for Christmas. It's awesome. It has lots of info about de-cluttering your home. And some really great pictures of fresh, new living room designs.

Here's the thing: my eye is drawn to the simple, clean, un-cluttered, neutrally-colored designs. But my house is full of richly-colored clutter. Whenever I decide that I'm going to make a new throw for my couch, I want it to be red, or blue, or green or brown. Not white and cream or gray. What would happen to all the needlework I've made? What about the things my friends and family have given to me that I have out "decorating" my home? My books, which I could never give up, even for the sake of home decorating, are all different sizes and colors. And where would Buttercup's toy box have to go?

I used to have a friend who moved from a regular, medium-sized, middle-class house into a mansion. Her old house had been decorated by her, and it was cute and funky and fun just like she was. Her new house, which was decorated by an interior designer was very beautiful and warm and expensive-looking. I never had the nerve to ask her which was the real her because it seemed like it might be a rude question.

But I wonder, if I hired an interior designer (which thing I cannot imagine myself doing in a million years) would my house turn into her house? Or would it still reflect me and my taste and my family?

I think my "taste" in home decorating is really more about what is comfortable, (no shin-busting coffee table, please) what is practical (no huge vases of fresh flowers dropping petals and pollen everywhere, please) and what is meaningful to me. I don't want some generic piece of art hanging on my wall just for the sake of having something there.

So it's something I'm trying to work out. We still need a new couch, but I don't see us buying one anytime in the near future. I'm truly okay with that, but duct tape will only take you so far.

Because it's tacky. I know that.

Sewing without gadgets

Behold! A stem. I realize this is not the most exciting picture ever, but stayed tuned. That quilt block is about to get a lot more interesting.

Since one of my goals this year is to become more financially fit, I'm deliberately resisting the idea that I must acquire more, more, MORE of everything. There's a lot of back-story to this but I'll spare you all of that today.

In my quilting class on Wednesday one of the things we learned was how to make bias-cut stems. (In Baltimore Album-style quilts, there are lots of flowers, leaves, wreaths, and stems.) Making bias stems can involve the purchase of lots of little sewing gadgets - one for every size piece of stem or wreath - and all that stuff adds up to big $$$ in a hurry. Ka-ching!

My instructor taught us one way of doing it without all the extras. Hurrah! Not only do I not need to buy more stuff, I don't even have to get up out of my chair to do look for it.

I love being thrifty. It's probably lame, old-fashioned, and not chic, but oh well. I'll be taking my lame, ol' thrifty self all the way to the bank.

Yesterday...

... I learned a cool new word - "lagniappe". It's a Cajun word, and I'll leave you to investigate its origins and such if you're interested, but it means to give a little something extra for good measure. For example, the 13th donut that comes along with the first 12 to make a baker's dozen is a lagniappe.

The context I heard it in was to "leave a lagniappe around your stitching line when you are hand-appliqueing."

(I wonder if I've read the word "lagniappe" somewhere before, because as soon as the quilting instructor said it, I saw it spelled out properly in my mind. Either that or I am just super good at spelling.)

I love the concept of lagniappe. I don't think I'll get to use the actual word much, because I'm way too self-conscious to use language that doesn't belong to my own culture, but I can use the idea of it in my life.

Giving a little something extra for good measure. Sweet.

Is it Hugh?

Ever since Jon Bon Jovi got kicked off the secret boyfriend list I've sort of been looking for a replacement. (It should go without saying, of course, the wonderful Mr. Dub always occupies the #1 space in my heart.)

It's too early to tell, since the only thing I can recall seeing Hugh Laurie in is House, but he's a definite possibility. My mission over the next few weeks is to search for and review his work via Netflix. It takes more than just a pretty face (but oh my, what a pretty face!) to make it on to the secret boyfriend list.

A final decision will be made and posted.

Today

Today I am at peace with everybody and everything. It feels good.

(Maybe I should stay away from all people and all things today so as not to shatter the mood?)

Hello, peeps.

My bff D told me to update my blog already. So here I am. Call me dutiful.

I've decided to not make any resolutions this new year. I'm not the kind of person who forgets or abandons her resolutions by February, but I'm not perfect at following through either. Here is what I mean by not being perfect:

• I am not perfect!
• That's okay.
• Publicly announcing that I'm aware I'm not perfect does not relieve me of the responsibility I have to improve my character.
• I can do better without expecting perfection.
• But only after taking responsibility for my own faults.

There is a person in my life who is driving me crazy. I mean, really bonkers. My bff D knows who she is and is very patient with my endless moaning and groaning about this person.

I've learned a lot from this crazy-driving person. Mostly how not to be later on down the road of life. (Don't you think a bad example can be as powerful as a good example?) When I've faced some of the devastating challenges that come with getting older, I am positive that I do not want to be like this person. I've been listening to her, and seeing her with the objectivity that only comes from an outside point-of-view.

If you identify yourself as a victim, if you think the world has handed you a rotten deal, if you think all your troubles lie in what has happened to you, you will never be able to get over it. You will have to wait around for someone to come along and save you, and by golly, I've noticed that everyone is pretty busy with their own crap.

Maybe you didn't trip and fall down - maybe you got knocked down. But you're down, aren't you? Whose job is it to get you back on your feet? Isn't it yours? If it's some other person's job to get you back up, then you are stuck down there wallowing around in the mud until they are ready or able or willing to do it.

No thanks. That is not for me. I believe that it is only when you take responsibility for the situation in which you either justly or unjustly find yourself that you can change your situation.

There is plenty of room for caring, understanding people to be loving and supportive and patient while you figure it out. I believe these people are vitally important in overcoming really hard struggles. I hope that I can be one of those people. Really hard things happen to people through no fault of their own, and there is no use denying or sugar-coating that. But you still have a responsibility to be in charge of your own destiny. No one else can do it for you, and honestly, do you want someone else to take charge of your destiny for you?

So here's what I'm working on for 2011 - financial and physical fitness, and strengthening my family relationships. I can do better than I've done in the past, although I probably won't be rich, thin, or popular by January 2012.

Because when I'm old, and that's not so far off, I don't want to have my options limited by the choices I made in the past. I don't want to be sitting around wondering and crying about how no one ever told me while there was still time to change that being fat, somewhat irresponsible with money, and mean would be detrimental to my future well-being.

Some things you ought to be able to figure out for yourself just by looking around.