Out of chaos, beauty

At least, getting closer to beauty.

I sewed for hours and hours and hours yesterday, making this gift. It's not done yet, as you can plainly see.

We pulled down the Christmas tree and all the Christmas decorations last night because my Little Friend is inexplicably chomping at the bit to get Christmas up and running this year. I don't remember ever having our decorations out in November, but this year it's happening.

So all of our regular home decoration items have been moved and disrupted and are waiting to be put away for the next month, all the Christmas bins and boxes and halfway-put-out decorations waiting to be arranged and rearranged and otherwise stowed, the tree has been removed from its box, put together and fluffed, but only 2/3 lit and consequently otherwise undecorated because some of our lights apparently got tossed when Christmas got put away last year, along with all of yesterday's "normal-everyday-living" mess which didn't get cleaned up as the day went along because of the hours I spent sewing instead of doing chores.

Have you ever noticed that most times, things get worse before they get better?

I'm not sure where to start on this chaotic mess today, but I do know that there is beauty hiding underneath it.

making

I'm taking some time while my good Mr. Dub is out of town to work on a Christmas present.

A few days ago I had a momentary glimpse, a vision, you might say, of what my front room would look like if I didn't have all my crafting stuff in there. It would be emptier for sure, but so much more peaceful and serene and there would be so much less accusation and guilt.

While I was rifling through my things looking for the supplies for this project I realized again just how much there is for how many projects and I felt a little overwhelmed and alarms started going off in my head. All I can do now is refrain from buying any more things and make all the still very awesome and cool projects I'm supplied for right now. I've managed to stop the too much shopping and not enough doing, because otherwise I'm no different from those crazies that get put on TV. Whenever I feel like getting more stuff for a new project all I need to do is go in there and remind myself of all I currently own and get going on some of it.

It's a lot.

Into the abyss

So... I've been sick. Remember a couple weeks ago when I said I was sort of sick? Yeah, well, it got worse.

I ended up in the doctor's office and she gave me some antibiotics for a sinus infection and bronchitis and some antiviral cream for an ugly sore on my nose.

(Lately the skin on my nose gets very upset when I have to blow more than a couple of times. It responds to lots of blowing by getting all oozy and hurty and infected. I need to find a better way to deal with nose-blowing.)

So I have spent a lot of time at home alone in the last couple of weeks. I have been:

• Taking naps. 
• Washing my hands.
• Disinfecting things.
• Contemplating the universe.
• Perusing facebook.
• Wishing that I got beautiful and tragic when I get sick instead of drippy and crusty and ugly.
• Thinking about my wish to do a "no-spend" month and deciding that it best wait until after Christmas.
• Looking around at all the things I have to work on and do and create already in my possession.
• Sorting through some of my craft supplies.
• Deciding that I don't have to wait for an official no-spend month to stop spending on craft/project materials.
• Getting busy on finishing up some unfinished projects.

I started the project which you get a glimpse of in the photo a few years ago. Bernat (the yarn company) had a "crochet along" project on their blog wherein you (or I, actually) and anyone else who wanted to join in online would check in every week for a clue (the pattern) for that week and make it. The end result would be an afghan but you wouldn't know what it looked like until you had created all the squares and saw the last clue which was going to be the directions on how to put it all together. I dutifully made all the squares each week, learning how to do new crochet stitches and how to block crocheted items, but still growing more and more worried that I wouldn't like my end result, and sure enough - when I saw the final week's instructions and how the finished project was supposed to look I was sad and unhappy and not impressed at all. So I put the whole thing  away and felt bad and guilty for wasting money on the yarn, and disappointed about all the time and anticipation and hope and dreams for a project I would never love. And I never finished it.

I got it all out and looked at it again while I was sick. I put aside my least favorite squares. I took the squares that I like and lined them up into an afghan configuration. I left it there on the floor for a while while I went to do something else and then came back to get my "first impression". I did this a few times before I came up with something I truly liked. It turned out that to get an afghan that was a good size I needed to crochet a few more squares of the patterns that I liked the most so I did that. And now I am connecting them all together to create an afghan that I will be satisfied with. I found an awesome way to do that that is less time consuming and more attractive (to me, at least) here, since sewing it together (for any knitted or crocheted project) is my least favorite part of yarn projects.

I think it will be pretty. I think it will be a gift. I'm not sure who will get it. I get a lot of gift-giving anxiety when I give something handmade because not everyone likes stuff like that and I don't want other people to have to watch their own homes become cluttered up with crap I made because they can't get rid of it because I made it. At the same time, my own house is already filled up with crap I made so it has to go somewhere. I have considered that I could stop making the crap, but I do enjoy doing crafts and it fills my time. It keeps me both off the streets and away from the slothfulness and consumerism generated by daytime TV, you know?

Speaking of filling my time, I did a real job this week. Where I got dressed up in a skirt and some real shoes which were not flip flops and went and talked to complete strangers for hours and hours, and will be paid by a real company for doing this. I was filling in for a friend of mine whose job this is while she was on vacation, and may never have or take the opportunity to do it again. But it was interesting and boring at the same time, just like a lot of my own "work", and I learned that while I don't totally suck at it I don't really want to do it all the time either. I am infinitely grateful that I don't have to, and also grateful that I know I can do it if I need to.

finished!

I finished up the latest afghan this morning. I really like the color combination in it: medium and dark blues, turquoise, teal, spring green, kelly green, and yellow.

Stats:

• 57" x  61"
• 100% acrylic vworsted weight yarn (easy care: machine wash cold, tumble dry low)
• Mostly scrappy with a few newly purchased skeins in order to get it to a good size and keep it in the same color pattern.

Next up is this pattern. I hope that it will be truly scrappy. Meaning that I won't have to buy any more skeins of yarn to finish it, even though I only need a few additional ounces, thereby creating even more leftovers. Did I ever mention that I have a lot of yarn?

I sense a disturbance in the force

and that means it must be time to do more de-cluttering.

Even after that whole "40 bags in 40 days" thing I did earlier this year there is still just SO MUCH STUFF in this house that it is disturbing and unsettling to me. It actually keeps me awake some nights. It is true that there is much, much less, and my desk - trumpet fanfare, please - has been clear for days, but there are still lots of times when I'm looking around at the end of the day, ready to simply tidy up so I can go to bed, and I have no idea where to start because there is so much stuff everywhere. I have come to realize that it is going to take several rounds of going through and deciding on each individual thing before I get the volume of our possessions to a level where I am totally comfortable in this house. For example, I cannot now remember the reasons I had for keeping some of the items in my closet the last time I purged through there, and have my eye on quite a few things that I am now ready to let go of.

That reality is part of my incentive to consider a "no spend" month. To really get to the bottom of the barrel, so to speak, and use up the dregs in the pantry and in the craft room, in the closets and under the sinks. What if we finally ate those cans of weird, inexplicable food loitering in the back of the pantry? What if I could finish enough projects that I have partially completed or have not started but have gathered the materials for? Could I get the remaining tools and supplies into a craft closet like that picture up there instead of spread out all over 1/3 of the downstairs because there is just so much? I think I could do a no-spend 6 months for many things actually, but I'm not sure my poor, spendy, consumerist heart could take 6 whole months. There is something about retail therapy in a craft or fabric store that makes me feel temporarily good, no matter how much I dislike that about myself. A craft/fabric store is just so full of color, and design, and promises of fun and self-fulfillment and the possible joy of creating some awesome thing that someone I love will love and appreciate.

I have been a little lonesome missing my two older boys and my husband who is in France on business this week. Buying more things isn't going to change that, but what do I do instead of shopping that will fill that void? I know that this is a big part of figuring it all out.

Gift Idea?

I've been trying to look for ideas of things that I can make to give to close friends and extended family for Christmas. Things that I can make a lot of in not too much time and for not too much money but that will be meaningful and (hopefully) useful. Things I've made in the past include:

• crocheted pot holders
• knitted dishcloths
• Christmas tree ornaments
• pillowcases
• homemade candy and other goodies

I found this on the Internet and with a few modifications to make it larger I believe it is the winner for this year. I already have quite a few skeins of a smooth, soft, satiny, and washable yarn that is made from 100% post-consumer plastic.

Reusable grocery bags (eco-friendly) made from yarn that's made out of recycled plastic water bottles (that are definitely not eco-friendly) that I already own. All it will take now is some time and effort.

Sometimes the world seems good.

Retreat?

I've been getting ready to go on a crazy adventure that people are calling a "retreat". This "retreat" is a weekend away from home to work on scrapbook pages.

Preparing for the "retreat" is making a lot of mess and taking a lot of time and mental energy. I will need a real vacation when it is over. What I've done so far:

1. Sorted scrapbook paper.
2. Purged paper I no longer want and
3. organized what I am keeping.
4. Sorted photos.
5. Purged photos of any that were blurry, dark, or contained unidentifiable or forgotten subject matter. Also any that were superfluous, ie. multiple shots of the exact same thing. Also any photos capturing an event that I've already scrapbooked.
6. Got about halfway through sorting/purging/organizing embellishments.
7. Organized my scrapbooking tools and gear, including testing all my scrapbooking pens to see which ones had dried out. Made a mental note to be more selective about what I want/buy in the future.
8. Straightened and neatened up the scrapbook supply organization system I have.

I may be sick and tired of the whole thing by the time I'm done and this "retreat" will not be any fun at all, but simply something to endure.

To top it off, I can't remember the last time anyone looked at one of my scrapbook albums.

Making

 

 

I've been working on a little Christmas quilt project that was supposed to be quick and easy. It has been easy but not all that quick.

 

I found a couple of charm packs that I liked, a pattern that seemed simple enough, and got going. It takes a long time to cut your fabric up into little bits and then sew all those little bits back together. This particular pattern called for laying out all the charm squares and rearranging them until I had it looking like I wanted it to and then sewing sashing and squares first one way into rows, then sewing sashing onto all the rows and then sewing rows together.

 

Which is great and seemed like an easy way to do it. Except I wanted the quilt to be bigger than the 36 x 48 that the pattern yielded, so there was extra time spent figuring and cutting and laying out. And I had to leave it all laid out like I wanted it to end up so that I would remember what I am doing because the squares are sewn together on point. Which means that every row has a different number of squares, the side-setting triangles are oriented differently from one end of a row to the other, and all the while you have to maintain the placement of your squares. I couldn't figure out an easy way to make that into a neat and tidy little stack that would sit quietly next to my sewing machine and still have it come out okay - it had to remain all laid out on the floor. I'm glad I have no furniture in my front room so that there is plenty of space to lay out things like quilt blocks and not have to move them again for days and days.

 

I'm getting there. The top is nearly finished. I really like it, but I need to figure out a way to remember that it - whatever IT is - always takes longer than I think it will.

 

It could be the title of my life-story: It Always Took Her Longer Than She Thought It Would.

In the work basket

This is what I'm working on right now. It's scrappy in the sense that I'm using up (still!) leftover bits and balls of yarn that I inherited from my grandmother 4 years ago. I am getting somewhat close to the end of her stash and I'll have to buy yarn in similar shades to finish this, but I think the colors work together beautifully. It looks tropical and oceanic and reminds me of something like this:

I know what you did last summer #2

When I visited my mom in Oklahoma in July we went to a tiny little shop in Moore that had some really beautiful fabrics. There I found the two pieces for the front and back of this practice quilt, my thinking being that if I'm going to quilt something it might as well be adorable when I'm done.

Last year my mom got herself a fancy-dancy, awesome, new toy that I'm coveting and wishing for and dreaming about. It's a Handi-Quilter mid-arm quilting machine. She let me use it this summer, and I have already decided I will have to drive up to visit it fairly regularly.

I practiced  free-motion quilting in a rather small meander pattern to create this little baby quilt. When I got home I found some dark brown fabric in my stash to use for the binding.

Ta Da! A baby quilt for a little baby Lucas that is soon to be born.

I know what you did last summer...

Have you seen that movie from the late '90's?

IMDB summarizes it this way: "Four teens are in great danger one year after their car hits a stranger whose body they dump in the sea" and classifies it as "horror, mystery, thriller".

I didn't see it. I'll never watch it. No. Freaking. Way. I'm perfectly capable of paralyzing myself with fear all on the strength of my own imagination, thank you very much.

But here's a peek at one thing I did this summer. A Christmas-y lap quilt, perfect for snuggling under on the couch during the week or two of cold weather we might get in the winter.

Vital Statistics:

1. 44" X 59"
2. Rail Fence pattern
3. Two jelly rolls that I'm pretty sure I bought at Walmart. (Did you know that some Walmarts are selling fabric again? It's true!)
4. Border, backing and binding in a pretty mistletoe print that I bought in Oklahoma.
5. Pieced entirely by me on my Singer sewing machine.
6. Quilted (stitch in the ditch) entirely by me on my Brother sewing machine.

Is it possible...

...to have too many projects on deck at once? I got a new quilting catalog yesterday, and every time I look at it to remind myself of the price of the ONE project I'm contemplating, I find at least two others I'm likely to talk myself into ordering.

Do you think Mr. Dub would notice if I spent his whole paycheck on quilting supplies/kits?

I think I need someone to talk me down from the ledge. It's not like I don't already have approximately ten or twenty projects either already started or waiting patiently in the wings.

Not-so-deep thoughts

on Thanksgiving Day:

• I finished a project today. That's it in the picture.
• I've only been about 2 1/2 hours worth of work short of having it done for a few months.
• Two and a half hours is basically a single afternoon of sewing.
• And I can't quite put it into words what the problem has been.
• Why didn't I just finish it?
• Not too long ago I made a promise to myself that I wouldn't begin any more craft projects until the ones I have already started are finished.
• And I've broken that promise but I'm diligently trying to be reasonable.
• (I really love having all my crafting and sewing supplies and tools in my front room -working on things is so much more pleasant and efficient.)
• Tonight I wondered how long ago I started this quilt so I started going back through my blog to see if I could find out.
• I couldn't.
• But I thoroughly loved reading through many, many old blog entries.
• I crack myself up sometimes. Seriously.
• I miss writing in my blog every single day. Looking back now I'm sorry that I haven't been doing it.
• But it's sort of like the thing with my quilt project - I can't figure out why I'm not just doing it.
• There have been a lot of days for the last couple of months that I don't feel like I have anything fun or new to report so I skip a blogging day. I wonder if I just need to look a little harder for good things that are happening in my life? Am I focusing too much on the difficult things and the annoying, hurtful people and the small disappointments?
• I was sitting in the big red chair watching TV tonight and thinking that I'm just pissing my life away sitting in front of the TV. There are so many things that are more productive, and more than just that - things I that I enjoy doing more, than flipping through the guide on the TV simply waiting for time to pass until something good comes on.
• So I got myself up out of the comfy chair and into my craft room and finished the fun-and-done quilt.
• It was fun. And now it's done. And I love it. It's warm, and colorful. And it's finished! It will no longer live in the corner of my crafting room silently castigating me for its unfinished state.

Today, as I was finishing up the Big 2-Hour Thanksgiving Dish-Washing Marathon which always follows the Big 3-Hour Thanksgiving Cooking Marathon, my Little Friend came in and asked me, "What's for dinner?".

He's a funny, funny guy.

The only way

to eat an entire elephant is one bite at a time.

I'll back up a bit first. About a year or so ago my friend Tori started making a Baltimore Album quilt. (Obviously that's not her quilt - it's just a sample of what I'm talking about, in case you don't know. And if you're not a quilter there really isn't any reason why you would know.) She was taking a class once a month to learn how to make the blocks. From my vantage point as a beginning quilter I thought it looked hard. It looked to me like the kind of thing that would take you your whole life to make. Like it would be your life's work, you know? Like at the end of your life, God would ask you, "What did you do with your life?" And you would say something like, "Take a look at my quilt!" And God would say, "Oh, yes. I see. Well done!"

I'm serious.

Also, taking a class to learn how to make a particular kind of quilt was something I couldn't really get my mind around. It's seemed like something you would do only if you were a really hard-core, talented, dedicated, accomplished, experienced, real artist-quilter. Like some sort of cabal of inner-circle quilters who take classes. It sounds ridiculous now, and I'm not sure why I thought I could never take a quilt class. But I did think that.

Today I'm starting a Baltimore Album quilt class. I've purchased and prepared all my fabric and I'm going to give it a try. I got permission from my mother who said to me, "You could take a class" in a very casual way while we were at the quilt show and I was admiring a Baltimore Album-style pattern. She said it like that is something regular people do. Really? I had already seen that she had done it, and her quilt turned out beautifully. So I bought the pattern and thought about it. The pattern was only a few dollars and I figured I could sell it at a yard sale if I never figured it out.

Well, I took myself up to the quilt shop and signed myself up for lessons. That's my lesson book and fabric in the picture. (My mom's quilt is beautiful rich jewel tones, and Tori's fabrics are a little different but also lovely deep purples and reds and greens. I decided to go with Autumn colors so they won't think I'm copying them.) The class meets once a month for a year and the theory goes that at the end of the year I will have enough skills to make 12 basic blocks. It might take me my whole life to make this thing, and I really hope I enjoy hand-applique because a whole life is a long time to spend on something you don't like doing. I don't know that it will turn out to be some epic thing that I did in my life. But it feels that way today this morning as I get ready to start. I'm nervous and excited. I also feel like a poser. And a bit little ridiculous as well - it IS only a sewing class!

You know?

B is for the blankie

that I wanted to make for Buttercup. ("Make" may be too strong a word - I hemmed a big rectangle of fleece.) When I bought the fleece I noticed that it had the letter B all over it which of course made it just perfect for our dear little B. Then while we were standing in line to buy it my bff D pointed out to me that it also had a lot of a's and y's. Oh well. B is for Baby. The blankie is all done and it's soft and fleecy and sweet-smelling. Just in time, because...

B is also for Buttercup, who is coming to Grammie's house! Tomorrow! I won't be here but I'll be hurrying back. A big Thank You to Buttercup's mama for coming to take care of Uncle Jake while I'm gone.

B is also for Brrrr. It's turned chilly here. I know it's just for a little while but it was enough incentive to hurry up and finish Buttercup's blankie before she gets here.

The quilting

aka "my stash". And a few works-in-progress.

I hope, now that I've got everything out in the open, that many of my works-in-progress will become finished items.

I've got a cold, which is a bummer, but it's making me (or giving me a good excuse!) stay home and do crafts!

Wait till you see what's on the knitting needles at this very moment! It's too cute for words.

little dresses for pretty girls

Our Copperfield Relief Society did a service project not too long ago where we turned pillowcases into dresses. They are for Little Dresses for Africa, and I think it's such a cool idea. After the evening we spent working on them there were still several that hadn't been done so I took some of them home to work on. I finished up the last of the ones I had this weekend.

Soon they'll be on their way to Africa!

wise words from Honest Abe

"When I do good, I feel good..." - Abraham Lincoln

I heard about a family in my area who are expecting their first baby very soon. They are new to our country and don't speak any English. They are far from family and friends with very few resources and no baby gear for their first son.

I had some fabric that was given to me by a friend, and I made this quilt for the little baby boy that is soon to be born.

It really is true that you love those you serve. It's interesting how you have to at least begin the service first before you start to feel the love. I poured into this little quilt all the good wishes and tender feelings I had while working on it. I have no idea who this little guy is, or who his parents are, but I hope that good fortune and blessings follow them throughout their lives.

Getting down and getting dirty

This week I'm at my mom's house with lots of visiting and cooking and talking and staying up too late and and and...

We've been to a class - our very own up close and personal class - on How To Use A Serger. It was oh so helpful. (I learned so much and I'm much more confident about using it and threading it. If you've ever used a serger, maybe you know what I mean.) I'm so excited about everything I learned and I got so many wonderful ideas about the possibilities for clothes and projects and threads and fabrics and and and...

We've been to her monthly quilting class where I got busy with my Fun and Done quilt. I'm getting pretty close to finished with the thing. I met some of her quilt class friends and we got in on some kind of crazy fun quilt-block chain-letter plot/scheme thing. We talked and sewed and quilted and worked and listened and looked and decided and and and...

It is now very late at night and I'm thinking about my blog. When I logged in tonight I clicked over to catch up on SouleMama's blog and I'm so glad I did. She wrote the other day about a project she's working on - a hand-knitted sweater for her husband. And she very casually mentioned all the grass and leaves and pet hair that is stuck to her project.

And it struck me: there is so much to being a mama. So much to being a Grammie, as well. Things happen so fast and if you get two spare minutes to knit you better take them. If the grass and leaves and pet hair get knitted into your project, well, that is real life. It's not about doing it perfectly, it's about doing it.

So the next time I have two minutes to spare, and I pick up my Fun and Done quilt blocks, I'm not going to spend those two minutes plucking off loose threads or agonizing over the alignment of the borders or worrying about the less-than-perfect ironing. I'm going to have fun, do the work, and get every bit of enjoyment that I can out of those two minutes.

It's not all about yarn

I have other kinds of crafts too!

I bought this small wooden frame at Michael's about a year or so ago. It was plain, unfinished wood and the sight of it stirred up all sorts of fabulous and crafty dreams in me. Not that that's unusual or anything. Lots of stuff inspires creative dreams in me.

I've been thinking all week about what my crafting room will look like when I finally get the opportunity to put it together. I think I'll call it "My Studio". That sounds a lot more fancy and serious and official than "my craft room" or "my closet" (which is where all my crafting supplies and projects live now). My Studio is going to have an inspiration board where I can tack up ideas and pictures about stuff I'd like to make. I'm giving those creative dreams a place to go in my studio.

My Studio. Ah, yes.

Anyway, back to the frame. I decoupaged it with some scrapbook paper and Mod Podge yesterday.

It feels good to have one more pending project moved over to the Totally Done and Ready for Gifting list!