Sunday, June 27, 2010

50

Sitting in the beauty shop yesterday I picked up an AARP magazine because Valerie Bertinelli was on the cover. She turned 50 this year.

In the article/interview she said that she heard this quote," What would you do if you had no fear?" and that it motivated her to change her life.

That quote struck something in me. I've been asking myself "What would I do if I had no fear?" every few hours since I read that article.

I've come to the conclusion that I have no imagination. I can't think of a single thing I want to do but don't because I'm too scared. There are lots of things that cause me anxiety - speaking in public (which I do all the time), sweating in public (which I do all the time), shopping for new clothes and then wearing them (which I am currently working to change about myself) - but other than things which cause fear in everybody, like home invasions and horror flicks and harm befalling my children and stuff, I'm not afraid. I will always live with the fear of those things but I have no control over them happening. I don't see any things in my life that should be changed but aren't because of fear. (Well, horror movies and books I don't confront because they're scary. But where is the benefit in needlessly scaring yourself silly and making your insomnia ten times worse over make-believe just to make the point?)

The only thing that incites true and fearful panic in my life right now is getting on any of the on-ramps to Beltway 8/Sam Houston Tollway and I make myself get on it anyway every single time I'm supposed to. I'm talking racing heartbeat, clammy hands, cold sweat, nausea, feeling like I'm going to die, the whole nine yards. I've had nightmares about falling off Beltway 8. But I still get on it. However, I don't believe that is the kind of fear the quote is about.

What would you do if you had no fear?

4 comments:

  1. I think that you have no answer to this question is significant because I believe you therefore are living to your fullest extent and creating your own joy.

    It's practically a miracle in modern times.

    Congratulations!!

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  2. at first I was like, "Oh wow, I didn't realize Valerie B. was that much older than I am!" and then I realized... "oh, she's not."
    bummer.

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  3. I feel your fear. I hate overpasses. And tall roller coasters. And those water slides where you lie down on your back at a very steep angle and get a wedgie on after being petrified. And driving on mountain roads next to cliffs imagining those movies where the car falls and explodes at the bottom. And walkways you can see through down to the floor below. I think being afraid of things like that is a sign of a very vivid visual imagination. And yes I make myself drive on overpasses. But I shiver even thinking about it.

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