Monday, August 9, 2010

tick tick tick

I just hate insomnia. Aside from the fact that it means tired and worn out the next day, I don't feel good while I'm up late.

The middle of the night is depressing. My mind races off in a negative direction and I feel despair, worthless, and hopeless at a time when I should be restful and peaceful. Even if I'm doing something relaxing my head and my heart revolt against me.
The middle of the night is wrong. I don't know why and it shouldn't make a difference but there it is.


  1. I have found the same thing. I am at my most pessimistic then. Also, it's when I look back and remember all the things I should have done better. I absolutely hate being up in the middle of the night. Although, I have to say that I now recognize the agony I put myself through and try to veer my mind off in more positive directions--it usually doesn't work.

    Last night I actually went to sleep around 11 pm and just woke up at almost 8 am. Wonderful!

  2. Late at night is when the demons of regret come for you. Insomnia is the devil. When you should be blissfully unaware of the pessimism and doubt, it forces you to bear witness to every passing moment and every dangerous thought.

  3. I used to have insomnia, somewhat, but I don't any more. I go, pretty much, right to sleep when I want to. The biggest problem I have relative to sleep is that I can't sleep in any more. When I wake up, I usually can't roll over and go back to sleep. I'm awake!

    I think the insomnia thing is related to a clear conscience.

    Just kidding.

    Middle of the night is when I think about my kids and grandkids getting hurt or I think about how worthless I am or I think about how I've mucked up this life...but then, that's why I don't do insomnia anymore. Those things are just stupid thoughts and if I'm going to have stupid thoughts, I want to have them while I'm sleeping and I can call them dreams.

    Dreams are more fun anyway.

    Night, night all.