Fifteen things I have

I, at this very moment, have the following:

1. a going-on-two-months houseguest.
2. a headache.
3. a raging case of pre-menstrual syndrome. (homicide, anyone?)
4. two giant, monstrous zits.
5. wrinkles.
6. dry, sensitive, itchy skin.
7. dishpan hands.
8. thinning hair.
9. cellulite.
10. a big rear-end.
11. clutter in the house.
12. weeds outside.
13. insomnia.
14. clowns to the left of me.
15. jokers to the right.

My cup has runneth o'er. It must be time to go to bed.