Grateful #4

In the fall of 2003 Cy-Fair College opened its doors for the first time. It's located approximately 4 miles away from our house. Fall of 2003 also marked a huge milestone in my personal life; I would finally have all of my kids in school.

That school being built right up the road from my house? At the precise moment in time when I would finally have some free time during the day? I'm telling you, it was like a message from the universe. The universe was telling me to get myself in school.

I had always planned and plotted that I would go back to school when the Little Ones were in school. But as the time began to get closer and closer I became nervous and unsure of myself. Was I smart enough? Was I able to juggle homework and class time and kids? What if the kids got sick? Would I end up dropping out after one semester? Was it wasteful and selfish to spend the money Mr. Dub works so hard to bring home on expenses like tuition and textbooks? Would people expect to me to be some high-powered, ambitious career woman if I somehow managed to graduate? Would I be a failure all my life?

(Do you ever wish that the voices in your head would just shut up?)

Anyway, I acted my age, pretended to be smart and self-assured, and got myself enrolled in some classes. And I LOVED IT. I kept going back every semester, and lo and behold, I graduated. It took 5 years. I didn't try to rush through because after all, it wasn't a race. But I did a little bit every semester and eventually I succeeded and I graduated. With a 4.0 GPA. Summa cum laude.

It was hard. Sometimes the material was difficult for me to learn and remember. Sometimes the kids got sick and I missed class. A couple of my professors were crummy and so sometimes I didn't want to go to class. Sometimes I worried about spending the money. Sometimes I was tempted to quit. Sometimes I juggled parenting, homemaking, and homework. Some people did expect me to get a job and make something "important" of myself and my education.

But I learned something in college. Something about myself. Here it is: I am smart enough.

And for that I am grateful.