Oh heck

I watched Oprah today. For the first time in many, many years. Maybe 10 or 15 years. I consider watching Oprah a sign that things are not okay inside my head and can usually talk myself out of it. But today she had some people who've appeared on that A&E show Hoarders.

I think that I know quite a few people who are hoarders and I was wondering while I was watching it if it is such a common problem that everyone knows quite a few people who are hoarders, or if there is something about me that attracts hoarders into my life.

I think that I am the opposite of a hoarder - I feel compelled and obsessed with decluttering and unloading "excess" stuff. I wonder if that qualifies as a mental illness itself. It has interfered with my relationships at times. It definitely makes me feel upset and angry if there is a lot of stuff laying around. Isn't there a show about a woman who can't feel sentimental about things and desires to throw away all her family's crap?

I am repelled, disgusted, and at the same time unable to look away from that show. It may be cliche but how do people live like that?

I was feeling much better today about things but now I'm worried that watching Oprah may be a signal that things are taking a bad turn. Then I read an article, after briefly considering calling the doctor for an Rx and nipping this thing in the bud, that anti-depressants are no more effective than a placebo in all but the most severe depression.

So that was just really wonderful news.