The Raspberry

Ah, the raspberry. So juicy. So fruity. So sweet and tart at the same time.

There's another kind of raspberry and it's this kind that inspires wrath in the hearts of boys. Sit back, get comfy, and hear the tale of the raspberry.

A few years ago, when my Little Friend and the Little Prince were still sharing a bedroom Mr. Dub and I had a lot of trouble with them staying up too late talking, playing, arguing, and just generally goofing off instead of hushing and going right to sleep. Oh, we tried to hush them. We begged and pleaded. We commanded. We yelled and threatened. All we really wanted was for them to just go to sleep at night. All we really wanted was quiet at the end of a long day.

Peace and quiet. It's still all we really want.

On one night, the usual talking, goofing, and arguing was happening in the boys' bedroom. I had told, begged, commanded, and yelled for them to hush. The time came, like the time usually does, that at some point someone has to get up out of the comfy chair, hike up the stairs, and make the kids do what they're told. Mr. Dub was the lucky one who got up, hiked, and went in to see what was going on.

Kids, being kids, always place the blame on the other kid. It was no different this time, and as any parent with a little experience knows, you have to move away from determining who is at fault and proclaim that it doesn't matter who is doing the talking, goofing, and arguing, everybody needs to settle down and be quiet. Quiet was obtained, and Mr. Dub, no doubt feeling triumphant, left the room. My Little Friend instantly erupted into tears, rage and fury, and Mr. Dub, not five feet from the bedroom door, went back to see what had happened to the peace and quiet that had been there only moments before. It turns out that the Little Prince had given the raspberry to my Little Friend as soon as Mr. Dub had left the room. As in, "He did 'phbbt' to me!"

The raspberry, my friends, is not to be borne. You cannot let a thing like that pass without immediate and severe retribution.