Friday, April 3, 2009

Breaking Up with Bon Jovi

I was personally crushed to read an article a few weeks ago where Mr. John Francois Bongiovi, Jr. was quoted as saying that fooling around on his wife Dorothea was just part of his job as a musician.

What?

I've been letting that information percolate inside my head for a while now and I've decided that Bon Jovi is off my list of secret boyfriends. I have to tell you that it causes me no end of psychic pain. I mean, really, just look at this:


See that furrowed brow? He looks like he's in pain, doesn't he? The kind of pain that can only be healed by the love and admiration of a good woman?

Nope. It's the pain of a guilty conscience. I have no use for you, Bon Jovi. It hurts me to say it, but it's true. You're a low-down dirty dog.

I have to let you go. Maybe you'll come to your senses. Maybe you'll get yourself together. Maybe Dot will kick your sorry behind to the curb. Maybe in time I'll be able to remember you as you were:


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2 comments:

  1. JennaApril 3, 2009 at 6:57 AM

    well, that certainly bursts my bubble too. What in the world? I hope I never hear those same words from the mouth of Sting. That would be crushing. I hope you find a new secret boyfriend.

    ReplyDelete
  2. gabbyApril 3, 2009 at 4:13 PM

    I'm glad that you are more of a woman than Dot is and knows when it's time to let him go. But I feel your pain, girlfriend.

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