Thursday, April 2, 2009

Hopelessly self-centered


Here's the thing about volunteering at the kids' schools:

I don't really like it.

Here's the other thing:

When you say to them, "I can spend four hours doing your work" they say back to you, "Oh...well... can't you make it seven hours? It's for the children."

I'm headed off to volunteer at the school and "chaperone" the non-varsity girls choir at UIL today. All day.
Wouldn't it be great if I could:
  • be a little less self-absorbed?
  • love doing other people's jobs for them?
  • not want to just do my own thing all the time?

8 comments:

  1. A too-seldom-used phrase, "No, I can only donate 4 hours."

    Repeat until they give up. Bullies are everywhere and have to be treated with a firm hand.

    One time I tried and tried to get someone to understand, and finally when the bullying continued, I said, let me check my calendar. Then I said, "oh my goodness, I see I have forgotten, I am completely booked on ___ (that day).

    It worked beautifully, and I was never bullied or hassled by that person again.

    hehehe

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yeah, this is EXACTLY why I homeschooled.
    NO is a handy word sometimes.
    Your friends need you at Taco Bell more than the choir girls need chaperoning - that's for danged sure.

    ReplyDelete
  3. an opinion from the other side of the fence?? I am the choir booster club president - every year I get complaining parents saying: "no one ever calls me to help out", "booster club is so elite". Both statement are a bunch of bull honky. They are called - they are emailed, and I would be SUPER happy if someone else would take over the reigns of their kids for an afternoon during a school activity or event. I realize people work, and have lives outside their children's lives. However, I just wish I could have the same luxury! Its their kids....they dont want to volunteer to help - I end up doing EVERYTHING - and then they bitch. You cant please parents -some parents - no matter what!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I don't think anyone here thinks booster club is elite - I think they just don't want to help. There are emails all the time asking for help and most of the work is done by the same three or four people - not me. The choir director called my cell phone last week to ask for help with the fundraiser money and I didn't get his message till this week when I turned my phone on. It still wasn't done by today so that's what I did for 2 hours this morning. I don't really want to help but I do anyway because, as you say, it's my kid. There were supposed to be two chaperones today and I was the only one who showed. So guess what!?!?! I'm going back tomorrow again to chaperone for the varsity UIL event. At least this time I'll get to hear my Little Prince sing! And it's only for 2-3 hours tomorrow.
    The girls were super cute and they sang really nicely today - they got all 1's!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I just dont get why people dont want to help. I realize not EVERY time, but even sometimes? Its a way to be involved in your kids, and their friends' lives. As Alisa get older, there are more and more things I am NOT involved with. I realize I only have one child, and with more Im sure its more difficult - but why not help? Its not always convenient, its not always fun - but having kids is that way. I find it satisfying and fulfilling - and the kids are really great to get to know. I am helping these kids succeed - showing my support. Its my small piece that I am giving back - because I can.

    ReplyDelete
  6. People don't want to help because it's never enough. If you say you'd love to help out for a few hours then you are the lucky recipient of a guilt trip and a request for more hours. The choir director (or soccer coach, or band director, or whomever) builds the program and activities based on the number of volunteers who are dependable and available for lots and lots of hours. And it enhances his career to have all of those activities built into his program. Which is all great and everything but it's not as important to me personally as it is to him. I have no problem with him being the top choir director in the state - I just don't want to have to spend my life getting him there.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Actually, I always helped when I could--which was most of the time. I just didn't like some some of the strong-arm tactics some used...

    ReplyDelete
  8. funny...we build activities and events based on what the kids need0- musically, intellectually, and emotionally...not how it looks to outsiders....what a strange concept your director has....and who voted him "THE" top director in the state???? Our director spends so much more time devoted to our kids and developing their musical talent that we parents do. They are tireless and have endless amounts of patience. I am in awe of their dedication and ability to put our kids - MY kid - first in their life. You guys need new directors - and program that focuses on the needs of the kids - and not the accolades for the director. Shame on them.

    ReplyDelete