Busted!

Last year on September 12 (and I know it was September 12 because that was the day Hurricane Ike blew in) I got bronchitis. I didn't know it was bronchitis at the time - I figured I had an allergy/asthma cough because there was a lot of barometric stuff going on and a huge load of unknown stuff and crud and particles blowing in from the gulf ahead of the storm.

I didn't find out it was bronchitis until 10 days later when the electricity was finally mostly restored and my doctor's office was finally re-opened. Those 10 days were something else, I'm telling you. In so many ways, it was unforgettable. But that's a story for another time.

Anyway, Dr. E gave me some antibiotics and sent me home. The meds did their job, and when I went back to Dr. E about a week later for my yearly...ahem..."female" exam he said my lungs sounded clear. I did feel much better but I was still coughing. A lot. So he hooked me up with some cough medicine and told me that a "bronchitic cough sometimes lingers for as long as 3 or 4 months."

Three or four months? Seriously?

A week later, while coughing uncontrollably, I heard a loud crack/pop and instantly felt some pretty intense pain in my ribcage. (If you look at that picture of an x-ray it's #9 or 10 or 11.) I hurt. Bad. I went back to Dr. E and told him I thought I broke a rib and he said it was entirely possible. He poked and prodded around for a bit (STOP IT! That hurts!) and said they don't really do anything for possible broken ribs. No kind of wrapping or treatment or anything. Not even x-rays to find out for sure, since it doesn't change the treatment (which is NOTHING). He gave me an Rx for some vicodin and more cough medicine. He said it would heal in 6-8 weeks.

While coughing so hard I couldn't catch my breath I broke another rib, in my back near my spine, the first week in November.

And while wondering if I might possibly have Whooping Cough in December I re-broke the first rib that was broken.

Do you understand what your ribs do for you? Everything. Breathing hurts. Coughing or laughing or sneezing? Forget about it. Standing upright? No way. Driving? Puh-lease. Rolling over in bed? It might make you want to die.

You have to laugh, really, or give up and cry. I mean, picture it. You're in bed, holding still in one position for so long because of the pain that you've grown uncomfortable. You can't roll over because of the pain. But you try, and it hurts so much that you try to go back. Which kills. Now you're trapped in another uncomfortable, painful position. And you've only been in bed maybe 10 or 15 minutes. You've still got 7 or so hours to go.

Welcome to my life for the past five months. It's been five full months since the first busted rib. I still cannot lay on my right side in bed without discomfort. That area is still tender to the touch. Coughing or sneezing still hurts. I cannot sit comfortably for any length of time.

The most surprising thing about it was how much it hurt to walk down stairs. I had never noticed it before but the body reflexively makes continuous adjustments to keep you standing up straight and balanced while you are going down stairs. You can't stop your brain from telling your body to do that - it wants to make sure you don't fall. But those little adjustments pull on your ribcage and hurt like nobody's business.

The moral of this story is: Don't break any ribs. Because you won't get a cast to keep them immobilized while they heal. And because it will hurt for a long time.