If you live with a man, then you know - Men have Funk. I live with 4 men and it's no picnic in a fresh, flower-scented meadow, believe me. Sometimes I walk into one of their rooms and I have to walk right out again.I just have to turn around and walk away. Away. Far, far away.
What is Man Funk anyway? It's not a b.o. smell, or bad breath, or sweaty feet, or the general stench of the unwashed. It's more like a potpourri. (But not any kind of potpourri that a person would deliberately have smelling up their environment.) And I honestly don't understand it because if you walked up to any one of my men and took a big, long sniff it wouldn't be bad. It would be manly, but in a good way. And I wash their bedding and their dirty clothes on a regular basis. But their rooms stink. They stink of Man Funk. It's like some kind of angst-y fog that has seeped into the very paint on the walls.
My friend C has a husband and 5 or 6 teen-aged boys/young men living at her house. She says her whole upstairs smells like Man Funk.
Poor thing.
There are a couple of things I keep on hand in my battle against Man Funk. The Works is necessary. It makes the boys' bathroom have a clean, sanitized, lightly chlorinated scent. A couple of strategically placed Renuzits are good. (Sunny Laundry is a nice, fresh, Renuzit scent.) Deodorant must be available at all times.
Febreze is good, too. If you happen to have a little boy (or more than one), go ahead and start stocking up on Febreze now because, and trust me on this, you are going to need it when that kid reaches puberty.
And yet, these things just cover up the Man Funk. They don't totally eradicate it. Man Funk is still there, faintly, in the background.
Man Funk: it's a mystery that I have yet to solve. There are some other things about living with men that I don't understand.
For example, I don't understand the yellow stain on the blue shower curtain in the boys' bathroom. It CANNOT be pee, can it?
Because for cryin' out loud, why would anybody PEE on the shower curtain?
I could tell you what/where I think the "smells" are eminating from - but then I think you would just die...so I wont!
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure I've considered all the possibilities, Jen. I wasn't born yesterday and I am the one who does all the laundry you know. But I don't think that's it.
ReplyDeleteWhy does every male on the planet who is tall enough stand with one foot on the toilet and scratch his balls? I don't know either, but there's your man funk.
ReplyDeleteWell...They need scratching.
ReplyDeleteOh, Amy, thank you so much for this topic! I am so glad to hear it's not just Ryan's room! I did the 'walk in, walk out' yesterday while saying "WHAT is that SMELL!?" He simply said "what smell?" without ever looking up from his DS! Ugh!
ReplyDeleteDear Melissa, your little boy is becoming a man. Welcome to ManFunkWorld. Bring some air freshener with you, would ya? : )
ReplyDeleteI unpolitely refer to it as man "cheese" funk! The "cheese" says it all! I have one of those stories of coming home from being gone all day, and Tom and Mark had been closed up in the house all day - the retching reeking man funk was OVERWHELMING!!!
ReplyDeleteThis is one thing that I do not miss about home.
ReplyDeleteMan Funk.
*shudder*